Today, i have concluded my little experiment that lasted for two days.
Yesterday, I went to college dressed as a “Meddaina”; wearing black abaya and wide square scarf pointed at the forehead and draping me from head to waist. Took my elder sister’s black purse and wore my mother’s flat shoes, also black.
Some welcomed my “new look” with enthusiasm and congratulations, as if I had just donated a million to the Islamic Relief or had just returned from Hajj! While others met my black-shrouded gliding form as reminiscent of the Death Reaper. Even some guys in the crowds who accidentally nudged me, retreated back quickly when taking a full view of my apparel; as if they’d just touched fire!
Today, I dressed up as fashionably as possible; golden blouse and red jacket with baggy jeans, small colorful scarf and an awesome-looking bag 😛 hell, I even wore high-heels.. to Naser!!! (Imagine that!) And put on make-up! (Yuck!)
Anyway, those whose enthusiasm didn’t last long were ready to pounce on me today, sensing a mischievous turn of events. Close friends felt betrayed by the alteration, and stylish strangers, who had never spoken a word to me before, expressed their approval of the costume with a too friendly approach.
On the first day, I felt hurt by those congratulating me.
Hurt that, wasn’t I good enough before? Before wearing the Abaya and the long scarf? Did I only succeed in winning God’s favor by wrapping myself with blackness? Have I just fulfilled an obligation that was missing in my person? An important one for the elevation of the whole Islamic Ummah?
Am I now worthy of heaven?
And on the second day, I felt disgusted by all the compliments.
Every time someone praised my outfit, a gross sensation made me shudder, like I was dirt and the only worthy thing about me was the clothes I put on. Have I won your attention by looking pretty? I myself was not pretty, but I “looked” pretty, no? Did you feel I was a more important person then? Did you think that this pretty person deserves my admiration?
Am I nothing without the things I own?
In short, I just want to say, don’t presume simply because I wore abaya that I had returned to the straight Path and that I’ve become a symbol of Piety; and don’t presume just because I wore jeans and make-up that I hadn’t prayed Fajr.
I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.